and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
and i looked up. we had an audience...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
