you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
