Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
