I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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