I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
