Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
