I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
