grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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