just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
