We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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