I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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