I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
