i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
