I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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