dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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