Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
