yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
