i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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