so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize