She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
