Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize