I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I think my moral compass just broke
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
