UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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