So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You took a bar mat shot.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
