they need to just BURY HIM!
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize