my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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