you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
