he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
