I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
