I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
