Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
accomplished twins. life is a go
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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