I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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