on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize