How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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