soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
