So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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