I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
