No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
