I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
