That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
