Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
