cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
