i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize