i jhust puked up my retainher.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
All the doctor said was why
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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