tell your sister to shave her snatch
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
