I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
