So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
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