Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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