the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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