When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Of course I have a pirate flag
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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