I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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