We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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