Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
