Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He has the fingertips of a God
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