I just made out with a guy for $7.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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