Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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