this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
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