in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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