he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
