Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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