You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We're too hungover to prance.
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