just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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