To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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