He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
