He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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