I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
