And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
