your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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