love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
