Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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