He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
