she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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