I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
