I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize