we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
