smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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