Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
