this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
did i just pee glitter
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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